bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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