just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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