I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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