So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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