Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
