I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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