where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
