it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
