I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
