I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
if only i could text you this smell
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
