I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you had me at cake vodka
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
