its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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