so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
