just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is Oprah even human
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
