So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
