Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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