a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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