If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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