I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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