sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
