i may or may not be watching the land before time
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The air was thick with penises
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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