Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
