The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
