Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
