Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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