the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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