Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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(541): View more from Oregon

dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.

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(443): View more from Maryland

and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp

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(917): View more from New York City

Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.

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(727): View more from Florida

How did you get him out of the shower last time?

(1-727): View more from Florida

Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch

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