I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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