Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you never un-have a 4some
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
