He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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