Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
