if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
