Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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