It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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