I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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