Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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