i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
