Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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