just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
