THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
