READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you inspire me to be a worse person
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
