seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
