laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
