I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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