Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
