We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
