I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
