arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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