Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you had me at cake vodka
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
