So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
