I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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