Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
