some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
