Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
