2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
