Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
